#and also the idea that you will always lose that youth

[centrally-unplanned]

This seems like a made-up critique of Yglesias? The Dem candidates who ran "ahead of Harris", particularly in relevant swing states, were typically running more conservative campaigns! The Dem ballot initiatives that passed weren't on the topics under discussion, how is that relevant?

You can't take the guy saying this:

This was the original point about popularism. There really are popular progressive ideas. If you center those ideas *and do not push other unpopular ideas that crowd them out* you’ll do great and make meaningful progressive change.

And be like "his idea is lurch right on every issue", it is pretty much the opposite; stay left on all the popular ones and give up losing issues.

Additionally, why would moderation lose queer voters? This is turnout trap logic - what, are they gonna vote Republican? Will Republicans try to outflank them by becoming more pro-queer then Dems are? That is technically possible but come on, they won't do that. So in 2028 the community will face the obvious tradeoffs of one party being way better than the other one, even if that party is only 90% as aligned as it used to be. That 10% isn't gonna shift vote share - every time someone proposes this "lose the base" idea it is just always wrong! Swing voters decide elections. The math is merciless on that.

(I also think equating queer people in general with trans-specific issues is a big trap, but w/e)

I have no real stance on the object level issue here - I don't know what the polling says. I see data like this and I go, okay, seems in the middle here. And see polling where shit like inflation is the bigger decider, so right now I think that is the big stuff to focus on. But we are really young on data from the actual election right now, it is all preliminary. And I know what case the "popularist" faction is making is:

Is this true? Maybe, just a few early polls. But if it is true than Dems almost certainly should moderate their rhetoric on these topics. Since not doing that is actively making things worse for trans people. Because it makes Dems lose elections to a party that wants to ban all trans care for youths regardless of patient/parental consent and strip away discrimination protections. You can pick the way-less-impactful topics like athletics and triage in response, like all politics must do. This is not throwing trans people under the bus! If this data is true, you are throwing them under the bus.

Which I don't think you are actually doing ofc, point is just that you really should be overwhelmingly concerned with "what do the American people actually believe" and be trying to win elections with them. The general approach of the "popularist" wing seems very much on the money right now. They are the same guys outlining how sure thermostatic opinion will swing back but also the Senate Map is unfavourable by a ~5 pt margin. You should want to win the senate! That is far, far more important than any specific issue, definitionally so. There just is no actual upside to maximalism here.

Matt Yglesias seems to think the only thing for the Democrats to do is to lurch as far to the right as possible and throw trans people under the bus, but I think this is stupid; MAGA candidates not named Trump ran behind their peers, plenty of Democratic policies passed in the form of ballot initiatives, and many Dem candidates outran Harris by at least a little bit. AFAICT the election was genuinely a backlash against incumbency and not a repudiation of Democratic policy positions generally.

Which sucks! But it also implies you shouldn’t screw over members of your core coalition to try to seize ground already firmly occupied by reactionaries. People with reactionary politics will vote for the brand name version, and you run the risk of alienating people who up til now voted for you. The problems liberals have relate predominantly to messaging in a fragmented media environment and the uniquely troubled circumstances of 2024 than they do to an electorate disgusted by trans women in sports or pandering to people who use the phrase “toxic masculinity.”

[tomorrowxtogether]

HUENINGKAI: “I learned to love myself thanks to MOA”

TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback interview

2024.11.13

He cleared out his favorite hoodies and learned how to handle Cubase with ease. While many things keep on changing, some things are forever constant: the music, the group, and MOA. They are the true passions of HUENINGKAI, whose confident tone reassures us of his commitment to forever.

You cleared out some of your hoodies and stuffed toys—what you called your “horcruxes.” HUENINGKAI: Well, the hoodies were way too small for me anyway. (laughs) I wanted to try out some new styles, too, so I cleared them out. I decided I needed to ditch the hoodies first and try something prettier, including buying some knit sweaters. I also felt I could do away with my old stuffed dolls and replaced them with some new fluffier ones. It’s hard the first time you get rid of stuff, but I found it gets easier after that.

You’ve made a lot of big changes in different areas. You’ve been keeping up with your exercise, even throughout the ACT: PROMISE world tour, forming the TXT Exercise Team and regularly taking “TXD” [today’s exercise done] photos. (laughs) HUENINGKAI: I always take TXD shots. I share them in our group chat. I started working out to boost my self-esteem since they say it helps, and it definitely helps keep my mind off things when all you can think about is how tiring it is! (laughs) You can’t help but lose weight if you box. It’s the only thing that makes me sweat as much as performing in concert. There’s someone on staff who’s been doing CrossFit for a long time, so I recently started too. My goal was never to bulk up and get these huge muscles in the first place but to have a slim build with lean muscles, so CrossFit seems like a good fit for me. And MOA, you don’t have to worry—I’m not going to overdo it. (laughs)

A lot of MOA were surprised the way you threw the guitar during the performance of “Growing Pain” on the ACT: PROMISE tour. HUENINGKAI: My image sure underwent a transformation. (laughs) I wanted to show how even someone like me, who’s usually so pure and soft, has some rock star inside him. I looked up different ways of capturing the idea of smashing up the stage. I initially thought about breaking the guitar, but I figured throwing it would be better. That was all I did early on in the tour, but by the time we took it to the US, I experimented a lot, throwing the pick and flipping my bangs back later on. I was happy I got to show off a different side of myself through all that.

You’ve always had a knack for playing instruments and like playing them for fun. How do feel now that your YouTube series HUENINGKAI Wants to Start a Band is over? HUENINGKAI: I love playing instruments and being in a band, so I was thrilled to be able to make it. Just holding an instrument in my hands makes me feel happy, and actually interacting with and jamming with a band felt like a quintessentially youthful experience. The whole thing was fun to shoot. It never felt like work to me. I approached it like I was going to hang out with a school band.

What do you think makes being in a band so uniquely appealing? HUENINGKAI: I think it comes down to the eye contact you make while playing together. I think chemistry’s the most important part of a band, and when you’re looking each other the eye and having a good time together, you feel fully united. I feel like rock has the power to make unforgettable memories for both the band playing and their audience. I heard MOA saying they’re interested in playing in bands now or want to get back into learning an instrument. HUENINGKAI Wants to Start a Band was a huge motivation for me, and it makes me happy thinking it planted the seeds for some great dreams among MOA. I hope they challenge themselves to pursue whatever they want and achieve their goals, whether that’s playing in a band or something else. Just the act of trying something new takes a lot of courage, and if they build up some experience, they can truly enjoy their youth.

What form did that sense of youthfulness take on when you were making the show? HUENINGKAI: It’s the kind of youthful experience you can only experience during your university years, full of excitement, sorrow, and happiness all mixed together. The song “Kitto Zutto” is actually supposed to be about how I felt filming the Yonsei University episode of HUENINGKAI Wants to Start a Band. I seem to remember working on it between filming episodes two and three. I tried to make the chord progression feel both bright and also have a refreshing, youthful vibe. The very first thing I made was the piano track, but it felt a bit bland, so I turned up the BPM and then it sounded great! The funny thing was that I tried to play at that higher BPM but my fingers couldn’t keep up. (laughs) Since it would’ve been a little bland with just the piano, I felt like it’d be nice to have a catchy melody, so I had a guitar riff repeat from the intro onward. That’s the main highlight of “Kitto Zutto.” The drums gradually build up the sound and create a sense of flow.

How do you think it compares to the first song you produced, “Dear Sputnik”? HUENINGKAI: I’ve grown so much since then. When I was working on “Dear Sputnik,” I didn’t know how to use Cubase, but I used it to make the song this time. It was easy and convenient once I got the hang of it and got better as I used it more and more. Actually, for “Dear Sputnik,” I created the basic structure, but I got a lot of help from other people since it was less than two years since I debuted. I really wanted to contribute a greater share after that, and I did contribute significantly more to “Kitto Zutto.” It’s the first on a path of hard work towards being able to make a song I can truly call my own.

When you had just debuted and you were on Section TV, you said, “Ever since I was a trainee, my one goal has been to make and perform songs that can move people.” To what degree have you achieved your goal? HUENINGKAI: With “Dear Sputnik,” 30%—“Kitto Zutto,” 60%. Right from when I was first writing “Kitto Zutto,” I was thinking about how fun it would be to sing it with MOA in concert. Nothing makes me feel more fulfilled than when I see MOA enjoying a song I produced. When I performed those songs in concert, I went around in front of the audience on the moving stage and could see MOA up close and personal. They all looked so happy. I’m glad I made these songs that MOA can really get into singing along with and that we can touch their hearts with. I think singing them together gives them their final touches. I want to keep making and performing songs that everyone will love and can make them feel happy when they listen to them.

In many ways, the past year has been an excellent showcase of how you’ve grown musically. You really got people talking when you were on Lee Mujin Service and when you performed “BETELGEUSE” on the Nippon TV show THE MUSIC DAY. HUENINGKAI: I got lots of messages from people I know. (laughs) It’s the first time so many people have reached out to me like that. I was grateful but there was something indescribable about it because I feel like I’m still in the process of finding my own voice. I’ve tried singing with something more like rock vocals, and even though I don’t have difficulty hitting high notes, I’ve been thinking carefully about how to make them sound even better. I’d like to find vocals that are a little more unique to me. Obviously being a good singer is important, but I feel like sometimes that individuality is even more important.

You’ve always been a kind person, but you seem pretty strict with yourself. HUENINGKAI: Only when I feel like I’ve perfected a skill can I say that I’ve truly made it mine. I’m sort of a worrier so I practice on my own outside normal rehearsal time. Our new single “Over The Moon” is hard. (laughs) My feeling is, if you want to dance well during live shows, it starts with singing perfectly before you ever even stand up. And when I’m performing onstage, I just think, Just do it like we practiced. I might just end up making mistakes if I try to go beyond that.

I guess “Over The Moon” would’ve been hard since it’s more about making it feel romantic than unfolding a clear sense of progression. HUENINGKAI: It’s not a sad song, but it doesn’t exactly feel cheerful either, so I was aiming for a kind of longing middle ground. I start out singing softly to MOA, almost like a whisper, then add in a touch more of that longing in the chorus. I see “Over The Moon” as me removing the gravelly vocals from “0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You)” featuring Seori and keeping it light.

When watching “Over The Moon,” it reminded me of “9 and Three Quarters (Run Away).” HUENINGKAI: Exactly! It’s got the same ear-tapping move on the line “whisper me my name” as in “9 and Three Quarters (Run Away),” so I ended up watching our old performances for the first time in a while. My image back with “9 and Three Quarters (Run Away)” was meant to evoke the excitement of school days, while in “Over The Moon,” I tried to convey something a little more mature, like a university student.

You also came across as mature the way you led the older members in the 144th episode of TO DO X TXT, “Abandoned Stars,” even though you’re the youngest in the group. HUENINGKAI: That’s probably the most they’ve ever needed me. (laughs) It was scary at first, but I helped them because I felt like they wouldn’t even be able to go in if it weren’t for me. And anyway, it was less scary the second time around. I guess it’s because I’m a levelheaded person. They were clinging to me so desperately I thought my clothes would come off. (laughs) That was a first. But on the inside I was actually kind of glad and thinking about how much they need me.

You also paid YEONJUN a visit when he was shooting the music video for “GGUM.” HUENINGKAI: YEONJUN was the first one of us to do a solo project, and since I wanted to show my support and express my gratitude anyway, I brought some dakgangjeong we could eat together. (laughs) But most of all, I really wanted to learn from him. The stage presence he had as he sang from start to finish all by himself, and watching how naturally he ad-libbed towards the end, was all pretty amazing. (laughs) His solo was a good experience for us, too.

You’ve always emphasized in interviews how you want to be dependable for the rest of the group. What does trustworthiness mean to you? HUENINGKAI: Teamwork. The greater the trust between us, the stronger our group becomes. As a member of a kind of team, it’s always my hope that the other members can continuously rely on me. That’s what being a team is, after all.

And honesty is crucial for mutual trust, of course. In an interview with W Korea, when asked what it takes for a group to last a long time, you said, “Teamwork. Being open with each other about feelings.” HUENINGKAI: I actually never used to talk much about my feelings. I thought things would just work out over time, but now I talk things over with the people I’m close to, like the other members, my family, and the protocol team, no matter what it is. I really listen to their feedback, too. It just feels better that way. But it’s not at all easy to open up about what you’re feeling inside, of course. You can never just be like that from day one. So I just started slowly, and now I’m more open than I was last year.

You posted a letter on weverse for the fifth anniversary of your debut, and in it you talked about how you’ve always been careful to hide your feelings away because you didn’t like to talk about them. What made you decide to open up to MOA? HUENINGKAI: I never wanted to let MOA know when I was having a hard time. I always wanted to show them the good sides only. But the longer we were together, the closer we became, and I realized that also talking about those things was the right way to further develop the relationship. That’s why I was honest and open in what I wrote on weverse on March 4. I resolved to be more honest and open from then on.

It takes a lot of courage to be open like that. How did you find it in you to find the courage? HUENINGKAI: It’s all thanks to MOA’s love. Every time MOA opens up through their fan letters or in person, I can sense their love. The phrase, “my youth is TOMORROW X TOGETHER,” is beautiful, and hearing, “I’ll love you completely for who you are, no matter what—I love you so much,” absolutely fills me with strength. All these people around me were showing me love, but I felt like I didn’t love myself. I learned to love myself thanks to MOA.

It’s clear that you have an immense amount of love toward MOA, too, like when you said, “It may have been hard doing what it took to debut, but I could do it all again 100 times if it meant I could be with MOA.” HUENINGKAI: I wanted to show them just how much I love them. There were a lot of times I felt like giving up before I debuted, but MOA helped me forget all about it. I know what it means to find happiness as an idol thanks to them. I think MOA is what’s made TOMORROW X TOGETHER whole.

[fiercestpurpose]

i eat banana nom nom nom

[fragmentedblade]

Not to be a jingfu on main, but it's so cute that Jing Yuan thought of Fu Xuan with those jelly beans

[scientia-rex]

A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to “be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.

If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.

If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.

If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.

If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.

You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.

You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.

But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.

Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.

[procrastinationaccount]

Top 10 griddlehark scenes that could have resulted in kisses, ranked by how hot it would have been if it had happened

Disclaimer: I am in no way shape or form saying that this would have made the scenes better, merely mashing them together like dolls.

10. When the gang are headed to "Dulcinea"'s sickroom on Harrow's suggestion and Gideon says she could have kissed her. Girl do it!

9. Post-avulsion, once they're back in their room - preferably, right after "Don't price your life so cheaply, Griddle." Harrow is so fucking scared and so fucking in love, and while it is adorable that she turned to anger at the trials putting them in this position she also could have put that energy into a certain cavalier! Held back by just how pained and out-of-it Gideon was. You know in the morning she would be aggressively telling herself it was a dream.

8. Speaking of things Gideon told herself were dreams, that one time Harrow woke her up from a nightmare! Underrated scene imo. She's looking at you so so softly and understandingly despite the cynicism.

7. During the battle with Cyth, after Harrow saves her flying through the air and they're both slumped on a pile of bones. Gideon just nearly died because she was too busy admiring her perpetual bone, she's so proud of her it makes everything ache, and Harrow's openly performing for her now. No time for talking or thinking, pure adrenaline, just make your move before she passes out!

6. After passing the Winnowing challenge. They are both probably the most exhilarated and turned-on they've ever been. Harrow entered her body and it was a positive interaction. It might have fully struck at least one of them dead if it had happened.

5. During the stair fight, contingent on Harrow finishing the "how dare you mock my-" sentence. Gideon called her out on jealousy, which is major fucking progress for them as far as identifying feelings. They're drained and pissed off, and it's really setting in for Harrow how willing Gideon would be to give herself away to her. Show her that you care!

4. Pre-avulsion. See lovely role-swapped example by @sinshiney here!

3. Right after Gideon tucked away that shadow-colored lock of hair. We know it, we love it, Harrow I understand but at the same time please don't talk about the Body right now. You have no idea what this will do to the next year and a half+ of your relationship.

2. First Flower Of My House. Her trembling hand is on your cheek. A beautiful little smile is on her face. She just made the most beautiful declaration of love you've ever heard in your life. You're planning on dying anyway and have nothing left to lose. Shalalalalala-my-oh-my...

Honorable mentions:

After the discovery of Dulcie's ashes, once Gideon runs to confirm that Harrow wasn't the victim in a panic. It always kills me that she calls what she would've said the other day about finding Harrow dead a "youthful" dream, but at least you're done pretending now. Wake her up and give her an update!

The hug scene. Omitted because it's perfect the way it is.

The post-pool lean-in. Omitted because Gideon's mind was already made up when she started it. Meanest thing she's ever done.

While Gideon was backed up against that pillar, right after Harrow says, "And at the end of the night, the locked tomb is me." Would it have made any sense with the trajectory of their characters? No. Would it have been hot? It would have been hot as fuck, thank you for asking.

[sugar-grigri]

What does the devil of aging want ?

Let's be synthetic for once (I'm sure I won't be able to). But this is surely the most philosophical chapter in the whole of CSM.

The whole chapter is an insult to what Pochita is. The greatest contempt that can be shown.

I'm going to ask you 3 questions, each of which calls for a philosophical answer.

Does the demon of aging really care about living?

Why does they want to be eaten by CSM?

Is Chainsaw Man really... messy?

The answer is actually in this line. Chaos.

What is chaos? I'm not going to play the expert on Greek antiquity. But I can say with certainty that the Greek chaos is in no way disorderly. Even if this may seem contradictory.

Greek chaos is not disorder, it is what exists even before the beginning. That which exists before the light itself.

Now I'm going to ask you, how can these old fogies teach Pochita a lesson ? Control chaos ? Hold the power of Pochita?

Fumiko always thought she had Denji. In itself, she got it. But the mistake she made was not only in thinking she understood Denji, but even more fundamentally in thinking she understood Chainsaw Man.

Pochita is basically chaos. Because he has the power to make disappear. He can either decide to start again, or to reappear and end. Its power allows it to precede existence.

When you were reading this chapter, did you ever wonder how many times things had disappeared and reappeared without you noticing? I'm not talking about disappearing into the collective unconscious. But to see something reappear without you even realising that you've lost it. What this chapter tells you is that Pochita's power is above all an opportunity. Everything that disappears and appears is part of his choice.

Holding a newborn baby. Having an idea. To create. They are nothing more than things whose existence we discover through our senses. The birth of a thing lies in the moment when something is brought to your attention.

What we have here is a power of creation rather than inhibition (to the Anon who asked me this question, I haven't forgotten you) . I had previously analysed the fact that Pochita explained his power by the disappearance of the hearing.

He continues to do so with the disappearance of the mouth. The second lesson Pochita gives you is that he is the beginning itself. Birth itself. Or the demon of birth.

Why would the demon of old age want to be eaten by the demon of birth? Because old age is obsessed with youth. The discussion in this chapter is your answer. Aging does not want to die. And the demon of old age is not looking for disappearance. On the contrary, what he's looking for is a rebirth.

But the demon of old age is a primal fear!!!!!! He's super strong, he's not scared of death.

Yes! But he’s terrified of being closer to an end than a beginning. That's what old age is all about.

In French, the chapter is called 'coup de vieux', which means feeling old, often because of the gap with the younger generation. This gap with the beginning of life is precisely what explains the objective of this demon.

I also don't want people talking about Denji or Pochita symbolically wanting to protect young people. This is not the case. Enough has been said to emphasise the fact that the very church that spoke of CSM as the hero of the younger generation did not resonate at all with Denji.

On the contrary, Pochita is the most.... Paternalistic of all in this chapter. You want to be young? So lose what allows you to scorn. Don't talk like an infant. Worse: keep quiet.

It’s fair to interpret all these elements as traumatic elements of Denji. I'm not here to explain each of them, I think that everyone can see through them a part of Denji's tragedy. And it's also very interesting to see analyses explaining that these are things that the reader is aware of, not Denji. (Denji fought Aki, the snowball fight was Aki's hallucination, so Denji wasn't aware of all that, for example).

But you have to take it all the way. What brought these elements to you? What are you holding in your hands? That manga called Chainsaw Man, right?

We said it here. What is born is nothing more than what is brought to our attention.

Continue to interpret everything in relation to Pochita. Denji is simply the key to understanding its mystery.

A devil carrying the weight of what precedes existence.

The trauma of birth.

[autistichalsin]

One of the things that fascinates me about Halsin is how, as into sex as he is, he seems singularly focused on his partner's pleasure; he gets on his knees for them in his romance scene, but shows no sign of wanting them to return the favor.

And in fact, he is a lot better at giving advice than taking it. After flirting at the Tiefling party, Halsin tells the player not to worry about coming on too strong and that they were just seizing the moment, and yet, if the player rejects Halsin after he accidentally wildshapes, the next morning he apologizes for coming on too strong.

Whether that's just a hangup of his because he thinks he has to be the Best to make sure his lover won't leave him, or maybe some of it is a result of the Underdark, I'm not sure. But he definitely is harder on himself than others.

And I think that is one thing that would come out in his kinks; as much as he affirms that, for example, dom/sub fantasies are perfectly normal (like in that party banter to ascended Astarion, where his worry is specifically because the player is actually thralled) he seems like he has trouble affirming his own. For example, he shifts into bear form in the Drow brothel, but only does this when they express interest in his bear form; "we must give the people what they want, mustn't we?"

So it would be really interesting, then, for Halsin to have a really taboo kink/desire, and be absolutely terrified to tell his partner about it, terrified they'll think he's sick/a freak and leave him.

TW: Discussion of consensual non-consent, also known as rape fantasy or rapeplay, are under the cut. Read at your own risk.

So imagine Halsin having this fantasy. As a big guy he is used to being the dominant partner; no one has ever suspected he might like to bottom, or to be a submissive. The only time he's done such a thing was with his Drow captors. He knows he would like to give his submission willingly, and he does with his partner a few times, before expressing this particular kink.

One thing that gets horribly misunderstood is what makes one actually want CNC. It isn't that they actually want to get raped; it's the idea of having control forcibly taken so completely, while still being safe. Such people wouldn't enjoy a real assault. It's precisely because it comes from a trusted partner, who isn't actually hurting them, that people enjoy it.

So for Halsin, who always has to be in control, to want to explore his trauma where he was forced to lose control, and to experiment with elements from that in an entirely different scenario, where he can draw comfort from it, is something i could very much see him wanting. He would want to revisit those on his terms. He himself said that while under such endless stress from the Shadow Curse, he began to fantasize about his days with the Drow, viewing it as a safer place mentally. "Perhaps [the Shadow Curse] caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth..." He is trying to work out his feelings towards when he lost control.

He clearly doesn't want to return to them; if a Lolth Drow threatens to sell him back to his captors, he snaps, "you would be unwise to attempt it, trust me. In any case, the house of my captors is long-extinct." Then he pauses and has a realization; realizing for the first time that they were captors, not hosts, and that captors was a more accurate term. Halsin is still processing parts of his trauma, after all this time, and admits that his current stresses caused him to struggle with this.

So he doesn't want to actually return to them, but in his head he constructed a fantasy version of them that was safer to engage with, where the violations he endured weren't real. And honestly, in his shoes, it's completely understandable how and why that happened.

So that makes the case for why he needs a safe place to explore himself, his fantasies, his fears, all of it.

The issue of course is that Halsin is self-sacrificing and, as noted above, doesn't seem to prioritize his wants as much as his partners'. If he ever did manage to speak about this, it would be, I think, after a great deal of guilt and maybe even self-loathing, thinking there must be something wrong with him for having these fantasies.

So imagine him with a partner who is happy to indulge him, who gets him to finally open up about his desires. Who affirms that he's allowed to have desires, to process his trauma however he needs; after all, any way of working through it is better than doing nothing like Halsin has been doing for centuries. This is him finally being willing to explore it, to see how it interacted with his own sexuality; of course his partner would never refuse him such a thing.

That is the core of the CNC fic I'm going to write; showing how Halsin's unique blend of traumas affect how and why he craves this in particular.

[enluv]

in another life.

lee heeseung x f!reader x ??? (it'll make sense when you read I promise)

SYNOPSIS: in which losing you is the least of heeseung’s worries, until he’s forced to watch you slip through his fingers.

wc: 1.9k (almost 2k fr)!

genres: best friends to strangers, unrequited love (or is it), best friends to lovers

warning(s): heavy angst, toxic friendship/relationship, heeseung is mean, very very mean, manipulation (nothing too crazy), refusal to take blame, and heeseung needs to be humbled imo...ANYWAYS, small plot twist but not really! (a/n: header is ugly because I made it in like 2 minutes since it felt naked without one 🤣☝🏽)

Lee Heeseung knows about your feelings for him at  the mere age of eight, when you give him the other half of your popsicle stick that you’ve just bought with your very own allowance. His smile is so bright taking the food from your hand that it doesn't even matter if you've spent all five of your dollars on the popsicle because as long as your youthful heart can see Heeseung smile, that’s all that matters to you.

Heeseung also knows about your feelings for him when you're both sixteen and he proudly exclaims that he’s finally asked Jisun out after months of pining after her. A hurt look flashes across your face for one, two then three seconds, then as if it was never there, it’s gone. He thinks it might have been a bad idea to tell you but he doesn’t reciprocate the feelings you have for him and in his mind, he never will. 

“Come on Y/N, it’s one party, please come with me please, I don’t want to be alone all night,” he pouts tugging at the sleeve of your sweater. Heeseung knows it’s not right to do things like this, knows he shouldn’t force you to go with him everywhere but he likes that you can’t say no to him, it swells his heart with pride to have someone care for him as much as you do.

“I already told you I have to study for midterms, go alone or with Jay.” Your tone isn’t dead-set and Heeseung knows he’s cornered you. He smiles as an idea forms in his head, maybe he can persuade you with just enough charm, it’s worked in the past so why not now?

“I seriously can not believe Heeseung got you to come, I know he said he could do it but honestly Y/N, I thought you were stronger than that.” It’s always the same sentence or form of it. It tugs at your heart, just like in high school people in college are just as aware of how you feel for him, even he knows it himself. He plays a blind man to your feelings.

An ache begins to pump in your heart, whatever liquor Yeonjun had handed you when you stepped in seems to not be working and that night as you watch Heeseung dance with Mina, you vow to yourself silently that you'll start your process of healing from whatever feelings you have for Lee Heeseung.

A few days later Jay watches a frantic Heeseung search for his phone charger in amusement, “Missing an important call?” He quips playfully, the whole house knows why he’s so desperate to charge his dying phone. The past three days since he ditched you at TXT’s frat party you’ve been ignoring his texts, calls, and even him.

“Hyung, why are you so worried about Y/N calling? Didn't you ditch her? I wouldn’t call either if I was her,” the small comment earns Sunghoon a smack to the back of his head.

“It doesn’t matter, Y/N would never ignore me like this. All I have to do is apologize with breakfast and she’ll accept it every time, we’ve done this before and never gone a day without talking.”

The boys can’t fully grasp why Heeseung is acting the way he is, to them he sounds like a desperate boyfriend after a fight that’s resulted in the silent treatment but Heeseung has continuously said he does not feel the same towards his best friend so they write it off as some form of separation anxiety and leave his room.

“I’m surprised you’ve held out this long Y/N,” jokes a sheepish Jeongin as he takes a glance at your phone screen that’s currently being lit up by multiple unread messages from Heeseung.

“I told you I’m ready to move on, I’ll talk to him when I see fit, I just need a few more days to myself.”

He hums in response as he lifts himself off his chair reaching a hand out for you to follow, “I’m proud of you ‘s all, he’s an asshole for using your feelings against you and making you feel the way he did, you don’t deserve that at all. You deserve someone who'd never ditch you." 

Two weeks. It's been two weeks since you've spoken to Heeseung, his room is a mess with clothes and books scattered on the floor, usually you come by and help him organize things. He's had enough of this. Your contact suddenly flashes across his screen while he's out on a date, he doesn't hesitate to answer, bidding the girl he's dropping off a quick goodbye.

“Hello? Y/N? I’m really glad you called me, I have so much to ask you but guess what, I just had the most amazing date-” he’s cut off by your loud sigh and for a moment his heart drops, you've never stopped him from ranting about dates.

“Heeseung,” his name sounds foreign coming from your mouth, “we really need to talk, I have a lot to say to you so could we please meet tomorrow?” He isn't sure why but his stomach twists at your request.

The meeting between you two is quick and to Heeseung's surprise, brief. You explain to him that leaving you at a party he begged you to come to had upset you since it wasn’t his first time doing so, you also tell him that you needed the two weeks of space from not only him but everyone else to care for yourself, and you’d hoped he understood that. Of course he did, he felt shitty just thinking about the situation and promised to never do it again, to be a better "friend."

Things after your initial break from Heeseung fall back into place quickly and it's as if you never left his side, but he could tell you were different now, you refused to go with him to parties if he asked and any charming tricks he had up his sleeve fell flat when you'd respond with a hard “No.” Heeseung also noticed the interest you'd taken in Jeongin, and that made him feel things he'd never felt before. 

It’s difficult to watch you flirt with one of his best friends, on one hand he should feel happy watching your attention sway to someone else after having caught it for so many years but on the other he isn’t happy at all, to be completely honest he feels bitter at the thought of you two together. 

“You're an asshole Heeseung, like a really big one, do you know how long Y/N has been in love with you? Since we were like eight playing cops and robbers in the streets, and she loved you throughout the time that came after and every time we asked, you denied any feelings for her, but now all of a sudden you think you might love her back? Just when she's finally healing from the shit you put her through? That’s such an asshole move dude, super low of you,” and as Beomgyu’s rant subsides Heeseung stares at him puzzled, what did he ever do that was so bad to you?

“Don't give me that look, you've done so much shit to her, hell I don't know how she’s still your best friend, if I was her I’d have left you already.”

Heeseung continues to give Beomgyu the most confused look ever and with a small eye roll Beomgyu answers his question, “You use her to get what you want but never have you done anything to show her gratitude or any reciprocated feelings. All you ever do is give her hope, you act like you like her back when you need her but as soon as you get what you want, you leave her behind. It’s fucking sad dude. You're a horrible friend to her honestly.”

Heeseung’s heart burns, he’s known his whole life that he’d done this to you but to hear it laid out in front of him now, he can see how terrible it all actually is. How had you continued being his friend? If he was in your position he’d have left ages ago, but you didn’t, and that single thought is what gives Heeseung hope for you and him. He knows it’s dumb, he knows he doesn’t deserve you at all, but he wants you terribly and if he has to beg he will, if he has to lie he will, hell Heeseung would drop everyone for you. All that matters is that you stay with him, not with anyone else, and especially not with Jeongin.

Heeseung can spot you from a mile away. His smile grows wide before dropping instantly as he watches Jeongin hand you what looks to be a flower. The look on your face mirrors Jeongin’s, it’s happy and full. You've never smiled at him that way. Heeseung realizes that the only smiles you give him now are filled with sadness. His stomach knots, why does he feel so unsure of you right now. He’s never felt this much uncertainty from you ever. 

He blames it on the fact that you two haven’t been talking as much lately. He blames the short break you had because there’s no way you’d actually stop wanting to be his friend, no way he’d ever lose you. You’ve always been by his side, and it will continue to be that way, because you love him and he has you wrapped around his finger. But, Heeseung knows deep down this security can’t be fed any longer as he watches you walk past him, hand in hand with Jeongin, not a single look his way, he's lost you.

It’s proven to him in the months to come as you slowly slip out of his pinned messages, as you take him off your private stories, and he has to watch you live your life through others. Heeseung knows he’s lost you especially when all together you stop coming to his rescue, won’t pick up the phone to hear his ramblings about dates and girls. He knows he’s lost you when you tell him you’re busy and can’t do what he wants. When you send him an awkward smile and gesture to your hand entwined with Jeongin's, as if to say, "sorry I'm with him now, you're too late."

If anyone ever asks Lee Heeseung about his one true love, he’ll say your name. He’s never been sure of what love is, never found it for himself, but he knows deep down that if he’s ever loved anyone, it’s you. You were the person he called at 3am when he crashed his car into a pole, you were the same person whose dorm had housed him a multitude of times when he was too drunk to crawl back to his own, the same person who loved him for years, until you couldn’t any longer and stopped waiting on him to give you the same love back, thinking he could never give it to you.

Heeseung likes to think that in another life he wasn't a complete asshole, realized your worth sooner, and maybe even had the balls to ask you out. He pictures himself in Jeongin's place, dating through college, moving in together after, getting married, having kids, living domestically. All he can do now is dream, maybe that's why he likes to sleep so much, because in his sleep-ridden mind, you're with him.

coco’s love note: mwahahahaha did you guys like the plot twist? are we happy 😁 are we mad? should we fight heeseung?! tbh writing this fic has been a wild ride, originally i had mc & heeseung end up with one another but then I decided that no, i didn’t want that, I wanted to show the results of a toxic “relationship” running it’s course through and through, that’s why heeseung never quite admits he’s wrong/he still feels entitled to mc even till the end! I wanted to show that he’d never change, even if he did “love” mc. anyways…thoughts?! comments?! concerns?! make sure to leave a comment or rb this with anything you’d like me to know or tell me how you felt about this fic :) muah ily! ty @odxrilove for reading it for me and not letting me change it again 😁🙏

ENHYPEN TAGLIST! - yeoforce @bloom-bloom-pow @nikis-mum @yourlocalhotgf @kyublr @spoooooooooooon @enhacolor @yoongimooni @blaqpinksthectic @gyuuss @eternallyhyucks @dinosdance @simpforsung @misschubswrites @junityy @jjunry @jwonsgirl @fxckingshame @stealanity @haoreo @jxp1t-3r @chaerybae @bobariki @vatterie @tytrackfebreze @veryjeongintxtkid @w3bqrl @heefys @haechan-nahceah @telesvng @queen-klarissa @odxrilove @s00buwu @j-wyoung

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

the general of the luofu has a habit you've picked up on. a habit in which when he finds himself in a place of predicament, he will gracefully place his hands atop each other at the small of his back. that is why you also decided to develop a similar habit of standing just slightly behind him.

never when you had first relocated from a separate xianzhou alliance ship to the luofu's exalting sanctum did you imagine you'd be standing within the seat of divine foresight on a near regular basis. of course, the notion was not unheard of since it is the office of general jing yuan, but then again you hadn't expected yourself to eventually be working so close to him either.

working nearly in step with jing yuan was not in your relocation papers. when you first arrived and he was always on your heels, it nearly made you lose your cool more than you'd care to admit. the way he would just smile your lack of alone time off irked you further. you figured he was just doing it because he could, because no one would demand the general to knock it off aside from the master diviner and- more often than not- her nags were brushed aside unless absolutely dire.

but with that same, insufferable smile and persistence of his, jing yuan did what he did best and used it to his advantage until you were absolutely smitten with him, and he knew it.

you had attempted moving your work to central starskiff haven where all the hustle and bustle of the main hub for all things imaginable could take your mind off the dozing general, but it was a useless feat.

the bond between general jing yuan and yourself was something precious yet unnamed. it was seen and noticed, but you both refused to adapt to the way of labels- another thing jing yuan had a habit of. superstition about labels and them ruining everything he holds dear to him was a belief he had yet to be proven wrong.

the labeling and eventual tragic fall out of the high cloud quintet was more than enough proof for him. he would not risk you slipping away from him if he were to try and repeat the mistake. jing yuan was more thankful than you could ever imagine when you told him you understood.

"labeling a relationship with you, general, would surely bring unwanted gossip."

a rather poor excuse to try and ease his mind, since you both would float around each other's orbit, but it still worked nonetheless. thus, the nameless, labelless, and unspoken relationship that everyone aboard the Luofu knew about grew.

"he's like a weed," you had told fu xuan when she was once again pleading with you to try and convince him to do his job behind his desk and not run around avoiding it. once successfully coerced, fu xuan admitted she had no idea how you could withstand his stubbornness. "he's persistent and tough to get rid of. i just kind of let him be after getting too tired of trying to fix my garden."

jing yuan was easily within earshot of the jab, whether you meant to hurt his ego or not, you did bruise it. how could you not when you were calling him a weed just 20 feet away from the very desk he was confined to?

time can be both noticed and unnoticed by long-life species. on one hand, the passing of time seems so endless it just flits by seamlessly. 100, 200 years are nothing short of youth to them. until you reach the gate of older age where you then worry about when the mara will eventually strike.

jing yuan did not speak much of his past to you, and you never found a reason to harp and pry on it. you knew more than enough from texts and scrolls recorded in the halls you were fortunate enough to work in; no need to reopen old wounds he is too stubborn to admit still bleed.

the general who cares for the luofu cannot decide if he fears being stricken with mara himself and slowly losing his sense of identity to the point he cannot recognize you, or you being marked as an enemy for him to strike down because the mara struck you first more. should the former ever come to pass, he has faith that what needs to be done will be and you will stay safe with yanqing.

now, as you stand in the seat of divine foresight with the newly arrived trailblazers from the express also occupying the office with jing yuan, you notice his hands neatly folded behind him.

a slight advantage to the many layers of clothes he puts himself through dressing every day is that his two-tailed half-cape that rested on his shoulders and flowed down to his hips can offer some peripheral coverage.

like clockwork, when you noticed his hands placed in the small of his back, you took half a step closer to his diagonal and placed the pads of your fingers in the middle of his open palm. his fists would never fully curl behind his back, left open and lazily sitting on top of each other.

jing yuan's shoulders would drop just a fraction- hardly noticeable to anyone even if they were looking directly at him- every time you did so. the tips of your fingers were warm, a reminder of the present and also a teether to not let his mind wander too far.

he could feel the callouses on them, the rough skin so accustomed to battle ingrained into the skin of your hands and it brought him such comfort. his eyes gently shut and a smile lifts his lips, not one to mask behind, but one brought about naturally.

and just like always, when he felt your fingertips push lightly into his palm, his hand opened further, fingers pulling apart before he was curling them into yours.

yes, the general of the luofu has a habit you've picked up on. but he has also picked up a new habit of waiting for you to hold his hand when they're behind his back.

[silken-moonlight]

The Elegance Series Part 9: Older Alpha x Human Waitress

A/N: Hi there! Today hasn't been a great day for me, as I wrote before. I was at the doctor's office today and am now on heart meds. I have to see how everything will go from here. Though I still want to post regularly. Love you all and everyone who wished me well. Enjoy the new chapter! 💗💗💗

Your Pov

You went home feeling giddy and happy. Though it quickly faded when you stepped into your home. A sense of dread filled you, afraid that something might have happened while you were gone. Gladly, today this wasn't the case. Your parents had gone to bed, and Pumpkin and Spice slept peacefully in the living room. A soft smile tugged at your lips as you silently slid up the stairs to the second story. After a hot shower, which helped you sober up, you went to bed. For a moment, you scrolled on your phone, checking your social media and emails. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

However, you suddenly remembered that Desmond didn't have your number...but you had his. A warm feeling crept into your chest when you thought about the older man. He had an aura of security and calm...He was magnetic, something always pulled you back to him. You took out the card he gave you so many days ago and typed it into your phone. Quickly saving it under: Desmond (Alpha).

Before you could overthink it, you wrote him a quick text:

Y/N:Hi Desmond, it's Y/N. I wanted to save your number and give you a call at the same time.

Desmond: That is wonderful; thank you so much for texting me. It made my sweet night even sweeter.

You blushed behind you phone and chuckled.

Y/N: Thank you so much. I am looking forward to our date tomorrow.

Desmond: Me too. I would like to invite you for lunch together.

Y/N: I adore that idea! When do you want to meet up?

Desmond: As soon as you could

Desmond: I mean as soon as you are available

Y/N: How about 1 pm?

Desmond: Perfect, I'll pick you up at your house.

Y/N: Until then!

Desmond: Until then, darling.

Your heart beat faster when you put your phone away, anticipating the date you would have. Now that you knew Desmond was always visiting "Sailor Boy," you were so giddy and excited. You really liked him. You wanted this to be something nice...Though you knew how it would end. At first, the people are always so understanding of your situation. They have no problem at first with your always having to be ready to leave a date or that you can't go on vacation and shut off your phone. They understand that partying is off the table for you and that you don't want to go to clubs.

You were happy with your life; you were okay with taking care of your parents. Sadly, others were not, telling you that one day you would regret not spending your youth wildly. It was frustrating trying to tell people that you didn't miss anything. Your mind told you that things with Desmond wouldn't be different. As soon as he knew he had to share you, he would lose interest. Also, you were overly aware of how he had his own responsibilities. He lived in an entirely different world than you, one where you wouldn't fit. You would enjoy his attention for the time that he was here.

- The next Day -

You spend the entire morning getting ready, bathing, and doing so much self-care. Your last date had been ages ago, and you were so happy to have the opportunity to make yourself look pretty.

Your parents were happy for you too, encouraging you. They even took the dogs out for a walk so that you had the house to yourself for a little while.

Now, you were standing in front of the mirror, looking at yourself. The dress you chose was elegant: a blue that complimented your skin, with white embroidery of stars at the hem of the skirt. The sleeves were bell sleeves, and the neckline was a beautiful V. You chose those white pumps that you almost never wore and applied soft makeup. Perfume and deodorant finished the look.

You were ready, looking elegant yet casual. Your heart was beating so fast, excitement surging through your entire body.

Desmond: Good Morning Beautiful, I am at you parents house and will wait for you

You looked at the clock. 12:45 a.m. He was early. A smile tugged at your lips; somebody was clearly eager. It flattered you.

Quickly, you said goodbye to your parents and dogs as you walked out of the front door.

A large, black SUV stood there, Desmond leaning casually against it. When he spotted you, a smile adorned his face. The alpha looked sinfully handsome. His beard was freshly trimmed, his hair loose, and he wore dress pants and a dress shirt with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up. "You look stunning, darling," Desmond greeted you, looking you up and down.

"All that for me?" He asked and smiled a little more. Feeling bold, you stepped closer and kissed him on the cheek. "All for you." You felt proud when you saw the slight flush on his cheeks. The Alpha smelled amazing; his cologne smelled rich and deep—wood, leather, and tobacco.

"Shall we?" His voice was smooth, and you nodded. He opened the door for you, and you slipped into the passenger's seat. "Thank you," you said and smiled at him. He closed the door and walked around to the other side.

"No need to thank me. Did you sleep well?" He asked and began to drive. "I did, how about you? Your way home was definitely longer than mine." He smiled. "Oh, I slept quite well, knowing that I would see you again today." You chuckled. "Such a charmer, though I must admit I was excited to see you again." His smile widened. "I love hearing that. Also, I thought I might take you to the orangery that they made into that exclusive restaurant. It's beautiful there—if you believe their website." You nodded. You had heard of that before. "Oh, I always wanted to go there," you said honestly. "I've actually been to the manor it belongs to a couple of times. Some of my acquaintances got married there." Desmond listened to you. "The local pack thought of buying the land and manor when it had some money problems. Though since they have the restaurant, those have vanished, and it runs really well." You nodded. You had heard something similar—minus the mention of the local pack.

Suddenly, Desmond's phone rang and connected to the car. Desmond sighed, annoyed. "I have to take that call. It's my beta, Isaac."

"I don't mind," you said with a smile.

Desmond pressed a Button and said:"Behave Isaac, I have a Lady with me." The alpha greeted the beta. There was an immediate laugh on the other end:"Did you finally have the balls to ask the cute waitress out?" You blushed extremly and looked over to Desmond who looked like he'd die of embaressment. "Isaac I swear..." There was just laughing on the other and:"Yeah Yeah. Also Hi to the waitress, I don't know your name yet. I'm Isaac, his beta." You looked at Desmond who nodded, so you answered:"Hello Isaac, I'm Y/N. Desmond has told me about you before." You could hear the beta chuckling:"Awwww, thats really sweet of you Des. Telling you mate about me."

"Isaac!" Desmond thundered. "Is there any other reason you called me?" he said, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

You just wondered what Isaac meant by 'mate'. You had never heard that Word in this context before.

Taglist: @the-witches-creatures @blushycadaver @strawberrypoundtown @blackbirdwitch22 @my-anime-garden

Divider Credit: @thecutestgrotto

[partycatty]

bit of a niche request but older johnny getting you an engraved tag/pendant to show others that you’re his? i just think it would be so cute if he did that 🫣 could be vaguely nsfw if you wanted ok im running away now bye!!!! 🏃‍♂️💨

dark star!older!johnny cage > mine all mine

warnings: ohhhhh evil sick and twisted and fucked up dark star johnny but hes the DILF THIS TIME!!!

notes: someone put me down where i stand im going batshit insane.,. also sorry this is small i only have so many ideas in my chrome dome.,. more fics otw if this gets received well :3

[ masterlist ]

• older johnny is more emotionally mature than our usual dark star younger counterpart, he's just more... possessive.

• he was a fine man before he met you, kind and honest with a pretty smile, toned down after his youth escaped him, but you sparked some kind of life in him that ate away at everything he considered to be good about himself. you needed to be marked up, labeled, tacked to a wall with his name painted across your body or he'd lose it.

• johnny's intentions were pure at first but had gone completely unchecked, letting him spiral into madness at the thought of losing you. he knew he was an attractive star, it was others he was worried about. you were his.

• dog tags with his name, necklaces, anklets, rings, clothes with your anniversary stitched into the sleeve, this man will give you anything that shows off you're together. matching outfits are a must when you're able to dress up, and he will happily throw you every credit card under his name to get your hair and nails done. all you have to do is make a passing comment about being in disrepair and he's already licking his thumb to count the cash in his wallet.

• johnny's a tracker, always worried you'll be lost to him at any given moment. location sharing apps, maybe a tracker or two in your car... not that you knew they were there.

• hand on the small of your back, guiding you through the large crowd that's more focused on him anyway. he becomes animalistic, unironically baring his teeth at those who spare an extra glance at your form in that pretty dress he splurged on for you. his grip on your back turns into fisting the fabric, bunching it up between his fingers as he contains his anger.

• wants you to be no more than his trophy. even if you're functional and capable, johnny insists to be the sole provider of everything. everything. you barely have to lift a finger for the rest of your life. trying to offer otherwise may result in an argument that digs at his ego.

• to everyone else, you're the ideal couple. he's a hard worker, dedicated, strong, loyal, and literally so jaw-droppingly fine. you'd know he has a nasty side, one he fights to keep between the two of you.

• "you don't need me," he hisses through gritted teeth. "you think i'm just some weak man, can't provide for my woman? is that what you think?" his arms are crossed, looming over you with a foul expression. "what part of 'i'll take care of everything' is so hard to understand? it's like you try to test me."

• unlike mk1 dark star johnny, this version is focused solely on your pleasure during sex. for once, he feels irrelevant, drunk on your whimpers and squirms under his big arms. he hones in easily into your cunt, his fingers buried deep inside and pumping to the point of pain. if his arm is cramping, he's not feeling it. he's too occupied trying to make you cum... again... and again...

• you're all he lives for. you're above cassie, above the special forces, leagues above earthrealm as a whole. you're his universe, his oxygen and everything that keeps him alive. if anyone or anything spares a passing thought about harming you, or worse, taking you away from him, johnny would fully consider falling to darker tactics and morals to keep you by his side.

[jennifer-jeong]

Fluff + Mild Angst | JJK Men x GN!Reader What Made Them Fall For You?

Itadori Yuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Gojo Satoru

SUMMARY Headcanons on what makes the JJK pookies fall for you <3

CONTENT NOT SPOILER FREE (includes manga and anime spoilers), fluff, gender neutral reader, men falling for reader, reader is a sorcerer, CHARACTERS ARE 18+

AUTHOUR NOTES YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT TIME IT ISSS Yes I’m back with this prompt because I love it so much and it basically summarizes my little daydream storylines I have in my mind about each character. Also note that I’m not caught up on the manga (but I do know all the spoilers hehe) so I apologize if any of this is inaccurate! (Yes I believe Gojo’s coming back so please pretend like the angst in his part isn’t alluding to his death being permanent. His body was successfully recovered and I’m coping with that fact)

ITADORI YUJI

I think Yuji would start to fall for you because when you first learned about Sukuna and Yuji being his vessel, you swore right then and there that you’d beat Sukuna’s ass and save Yuji. He was shocked at first because while that is the plan, no one had ever said it out loud to him like you did, and no one specifically ever said “I’ll save you.” He didn’t take it in a romantic sense but ever since you said it, he’s been getting closer and closer with you. You two always have a great time together and Sukuna never fails to make Yuji flustered by popping out and saying some random vulgar or violent jumble of words.

Yuji enjoys the lightheartedness you bring into his life, it’s refreshing like a spring breeze. It’s been much needed in his life recently and he appreciates your unplanned but good timing. He doesn’t like to worry people with his emotions because he’s such a genuine ray of sunshine. But, he will tell you about them when he finally breaks from time to time because he knows you’ll coax it out of him anyways. He tells you about his childhood and his grandpa and it breaks your heart that he sounds so content with his simple life despite barely having anyone close to him. You tell him that he’s so loved by everyone around him and he thanks you. It’s just that his death is constantly looming over his head and he has no idea what’s in store for him or his new loved ones. He wants to save everyone so badly and sometimes forgets about himself. That’s why he’ll never forget your promise to save him. He trusts that if he loses himself in some sort of sacrifice, that you’ll somehow rescue him. And that’s also why he’ll never break his silent promise to protect you for as long as he lives.

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

I think Megumi would start to fall for you because of the care you put into everything you do, especially in how you treat others. You never fail to notice and treat your allies' wounds, even when they’re convincingly pretending like they’re fine. You always prioritize civilians during missions. You haven’t missed how his shikigami all have different personalities and different places they like to be pet. And you never miss it if Megumi’s feeling upset, you can somehow just tell by looking at him, even when others think he just looks mad like usual. Megumi knows your care for the little things is just how you express your desire to help others. The two of you mirror each other in that way. Megumi is the epitome of sacrificing oneself to protect their allies and it makes him smile when you mention that to him because he knows you’re exactly like him in that sense.

Megumi feels so relaxed around you because you just seem to understand him without needing him to explain. He’s gotten used to bottling everything up since he was young. He’s been forced to be an adult since he was a kid, understanding things that children shouldn’t even know about. It’s made his life feel cold, devoid of the warmth a child typically receives in their youth. He’s felt betrayed by all parental figures, his dad, his mom, and his step-mom. Even though Satoru tried his best and Megumi appreciates him, he couldn’t fully repair what he didn’t break. Megumi only really had his sister Tsumiki, but now even she’s unreachable and cursed. His life has warmed up slightly as he’s got found family now, but it’s really only you that makes the burning sun shine like it should in his life. As a sorcerer, he’s always worried that more lives will be taken from around him, especially yours. But he likes to joke and think that with the two of you constantly sacrificing yourselves for the other and getting stronger, you might just be okay.

GOJO SATORU

I think Satoru would start to fall for you because you don’t treat him like “the strongest,” you treat him like he’s human, like he’s just Satoru. Satoru has always faked a smile and you’ve always been able to figure him out. He’s been through so much and always struggled to make meaningful connections because of his powers. His family putting immense pressure on him as a child definitely didn’t help his emotional state either. He’s been so lonely his whole life and just as he starts to create a found family with his friends, he loses them. He doesn’t know what to do other than smile to make sure that those that are still alive don’t worry about him. But you see straight through him, you always have, and it comforts him. You’re the same age as him so you’ve been through it all with him since he started at jujutsu high. He started to fall for you at the start because even before all the additional trauma, you already wiggled your way past his emotional walls. He was always clearly too excited to see his friends, had so much love to give, and hated being alone. You thought it was obvious that he was hiding something and you approached him, asking if he was ok and if he wanted to talk about it. At first, he just laughed it off but as the months passed and your friendship grew, the more and more comfortable he was with telling you about his struggles.

Even now, you’re the only person he confides in about everything. You’ve always helped him back onto his feet after the world knocks him down. He might be the strongest sorcerer in the world, or maybe ever. But in his world, he’s never actually been stronger than you, you’re always the one helping him up anyways. He loves that you don’t treat him like most do. You’ve never catered to him or let up on lecturing him just because he’s strong. Additionally, you also never failed to make sure he felt loved, because you always knew that he was still just a kid on the inside that was forced to grow up too fast. Satoru fell for you willingly but has held off on confessing to you because he’s too scared to indulge himself while there’s still danger in the world. He wants to make the world safer for you, whether he’s there to see it with you or not. But he’s pretty sure he will, he is “the strongest” after all.

|| MASTERLIST <3 || Thank you for reading! ||

[llamagoddessofficial]

Hello hello! This is Relating to the prison au and the idea suddenly came to me but how would it differ if the mc was a a lot younger like an intern? I tried searching more if it was even allowed to be a med student intern in a prison but I dunno I just thought it was a neat idea, like if she appeared like an optimistic platonic younger sister more than a romantic interest? Aaaa sorry English isn't my first language I hope the idea got through ^^'

I want to congratulate you, anon... you're the first person in a long time to ask something related to prison au that has never been asked before!

Sans: Unfortunately, he'll be even worse. More manipulative, more possessive... more evil. With an older Mc he might see her as easy to manipulate, but he still absolutely views her as her own person- he'd do bad stuff but he (at least) would still respect her opinions and choices. When she's young, he does not respect her opinions and choices. She's just a kid who doesn't know better, someone who needs him to make the big decisions on her behalf.

The worst part is, once he attaches, he sees her like a little sister. It really fucks up his mind- all of those messy, dark, painful feelings about Papyrus, all that unresolved grief from losing one younger sibling... he doesn't care what happens to anyone. Or anything. So long as he doesn't lose any more family.

He's kind to her; oh-so-kind, a sweet and goofy older brother figure who makes terrible puns and chats to her for hours about her favourite videogames. But he's a terrifying empty creature, and he's absolutely going to use her youth and inexperience to his advantage, to make her trust him more than everyone else. Nothing is off the table.

Red: Red adores her. Much like Sans, he ends up in something of a 'big brother' role- the difference is that Red's connection with her is a lot healthier and gentler, with a decent amount of friendly 'fighting' (tossing harmless insults at each other). He turns into a different person around her; he minds his language somewhat, he manages his temper better, although he teases her his teasing never has any venom and he'll drop jokes that upset her. He was built to be a big brother, and he misses his Papyrus a lot- it feels good to have a bond like that with someone again.

(Speaking of Papyrus- he loves Mc too. He sees the effect she has on Red and he absolutely wants to encourage the positive growth. Also... he always wanted a younger sibling.)

Red makes jokes about giving her contraband or getting her in trouble, and her presence in his life has put her firmly on the inmate no-touch list. Red may be a criminal, and he may associate with people who have done terrible things... but he reserves the worst of the worst punishments for those who hurt kids, and his family. Let alone both.

She's been adopted by the mob.

Skull: Skull's intense feelings about Mc in the prison aus aren't really specifically romantic or platonic in the first place. It's his Soul crying out for love and connection after so long alone. They're just Skull Feelings- so a platonic Mc would see the same degree of insanity, desperation and clinginess from our darling cannibal as her older nurse counterpart.

But... I think he would be a bit better with her, overall. Mc being noticeably younger, in his eyes, makes her more 'fragile'- both emotionally and physically. That nagging thought of i need to be careful and responsible would centre him a little more, make him more aware, gentle and slow. In the same way he wouldn't want to frighten a small child, he doesn't want to frighten her; he moves like hes trying not to spook away a small animal. He'd be better at smiling.

... He would still get moments where he can't help himself. Moments where he snaps out of restraints and grabs her, moments where he attacks other staff for getting too close to her. But he tries.

[rubycruzin4abruzin]

(you) on my arm

Summary: On the eve of Kit’s wedding, she announces that she’s leaving Tir Asleen for good. You’ll do anything to convince her to stay, even if your class difference forbids it.

Pairing: servant!reader x princess!kit tanthalos

Contains: enemies to friends to lovers, mature language and content, smut, oral sex (both receiving), light gagging, medieval roleplay, forbidden intimacy, mutual pining, dom!kit, switch!reader, 18+, MDNI

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: Based on the song “(You) On My Arm” by Leith Ross. I’ve had this idea for a while, it feels SO good to get it out! Also, we need more Kit Tanthalos smut, why am I starving here??

———

Your relationship with the princess of Tir Asleen was… interesting to say the least.

You knew what you were in for when you were hired to work as a castle servant. Kit sort of had a reputation for teasing the “help,” and you saw it a lot with one of the kitchen hands whom she often referred to as “muffin girl.” It’s not that you had a problem with the kitchen hand in question, it was just that she never really spoke up for herself, instead opting to sit back and let it happen. You, on the other hand, were much more fiery and quick-witted.

One day, you passed by Kit in another sword sparr with Jade while you were fetching water from the castle well. You hadn’t had much combat training outside of stick fights in the woods with the other village children in your youth, but even then you could tell that Jade was so much better than Kit. It was comical, really, especially considering how it was well known that the princess always won against combat with the knight.

Their fight took away from your attention long enough for you to lose your footing on a misplaced rock and trip, spilling the buckets of water you were holding all over the slick gravel. You cursed, knowing you’d have to walk all the way back to the well to fetch more.

The commotion caused Kit and Jade to drop their swords momentarily and look in your direction. Kit recognized you from the castle staff and smirked, an insult forming on her lips.

“Feeling thirsty, maid?” She called out. “In the future, I’d appreciate it if the castle’s water supply wasn’t compromised the next time you decide to drool over me and my incredible sword skills.”

Anger bubbled inside you while the cocky princess snickered at her own joke. You turned to see Jade rolling her eyes, which made you feel a bit better. Taking a deep breath, you faced Kit and flashed her a sickly sweet smile.

“Of course, your highness. I’ll make sure to keep your ‘incredible sword skills’ in mind the next time I’m patching a tear in your clothing after a spar with Jade.”

Kit’s jaw dropped, her eyes widening and her face flushing a new shade of crimson. Jade dissolved into a fit of laughter, not used to seeing the princess of Tir Asleen being put in her place. All Kit could do was stand there, embarrassed, and gape at you as you picked up the buckets and turned away to walk back to the well.

After the initial wave of confidence from your interaction had dialed down, you began to realize how easily Kit could get you fired. She was the princess after all, she could have anything she wanted at the snap of her fingers, and she knew that. The next couple nights, you laid awake in the servant chambers, and wondered if tomorrow was the day Kit would complain to Sorsha and have you promptly removed from the castle.

But the day never came. You would pass by Kit in the halls, and while she would always purposely avoid eye contact, she never seemed to harbor any ill intents. About a week or so later, she hit you with another taunting remark, and you fired one back out of instinct. This time, instead of getting embarrassed or angry, Kit simply shot you a side-eyed smile and walked away.

Since that day, your relationship with the princess of Tir Asleen was permanently altered into something Kit had never had with one of the palace hands. She would come at you with a quick remark, and you would respond with a sly taunt, or vice versa. Witty one-liners soon turned into full conversations, and your snarky dynamic began to blossom into a genuine friendship.

You had to admit, Kit had her qualities. Sure she was arrogant, stubborn, hot-headed, and a little selfish, but she was also funny, fearless, free-spirited, and… insanely pretty.

No doubt about it, Kit Tanthalos was hot. You’d never tell her that of course, her ego was inflated enough. Besides, her knowing you were attracted to her would surely give her ample ammo she’d use to tease you.

Still, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Kit thought the same about you. You weren’t a princess by any means, but your smooth complexion and gentle features made you a bit of a catch. Class differences aside, was your crush on the next heir to the throne so outrageous?

Stolen glances while passing each other in the hall only furthered your delusions. You swore you could see something in Kit’s eyes that was more than platonic, maybe even some sort of longing. Still, you had no way to be sure, so you opted to keep it to yourself.

Now, you stood in Kit’s room, folding her laundry while she was attending a ball downstairs. You weren’t invited of course, not that you really wanted to go anyway since this was the ball announcing Kit’s engagement to the Prince of Galladoorn. When Kit first told you about her engagement, you felt sick, anger and jealousy flooding your mind. But Kit seemed to just shrug it off, which meant she’s either completely avoiding the situation or has fully accepted her responsibility as heir to the throne.

Knowing Kit, you were pretty confident it was the former.

You scowled at the wedding dress laid out for tomorrow’s festivities. A part of you wanted to kick it under the bed, or take it in for cleaning and “accidentally” lose it. But you knew these actions would have serious consequences, so you stuck with shooting dirty looks to the garment from across the room.

While you were on the floor putting clothes away into Kit’s storage chest, you suddenly heard some commotion outside the door. Your ears perked up, trying to make out the muffled sounds. The voices of Kit and Sorsha were easy to make out, but they sounded angry, as if they were in some kind of fight.

“A petulant child who needs to grow up.”

Sorsha’s voice pierced through the door, followed by Kit’s muffled arguments, and then furious footsteps disappearing down the long corridor. Silence echoed throughout the bedroom before Kit threw open the door and stomped inside, not noticing you mostly hidden behind the foot of her bed.

Not wanting to alarm the princess, you decided to keep your presence unknown, Kit was angry enough as is. She picked up a pillow and punched it, before sitting on her bed and holding her face in her hands. The sound of her quiet sobs reverberated around the bedroom.

At this point, you felt as though you were infringing on the princess’ privacy. You were about 99.9% certain that Kit would never show this level of emotional vulnerability if she knew someone else was in the room. You slowly started to lower the lid to the now fully replenished storage chest, closing it with a dull thud.

Kit jumped at the sudden noise and whipped around, ready to yell at whoever had trespassed. Instead, she saw you standing there sheepishly, and her eyes softened.

“Oh, it’s just you.” She muttered, lowering her head again.

You rang your clammy hands in front of you. “Sorry, I was just putting away your laundry. Didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”

Kit said nothing in response and continued to stare at her lap. The tear stains painted on her cheeks reflected against the room’s soft candlelight, making them impossible not to notice. Your heart lurched, seeing her in this state was killing you. Despite how uncomfortable you felt, your caring nature overtook and you cautiously moved towards Kit.

“Are you alright, Princess?”

Kit let out a shaky breath. “Jade is leaving.”

A thick silence hung in the air as you didn’t want to interrupt. Kit continued. “She’s going to train with the knights of Galladoorn.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, moving to sit next to the princess and lay a gentle hand on her back.

The only sound in the room was your hand scratching against the smooth material of Kit’s ball gown. Kit was sitting next to you, perfectly still on the edge of the bed, with a blank expression on her face. If the situation wasn’t so heavy, you might have found it kind of peaceful.

Suddenly, Kit jumped up, startling you and accidentally knocking your hand back down. “Kit, what are you…”

“I’m leaving.” She announced before grabbing a knapsack from the corner of her room.

You were speechless, unable to process what she said. “Leaving? What do you…”

Kit cut you off by throwing open her wooden storage chest, rapidly throwing clothes over her shoulder. You rolled your eyes in annoyance. “Kit! I just folded those!”

“Well I’ll need clothes wherever I’m going, right?” She shot back, messily stuffing the garments into her knapsack.

She was beginning to scare you, so you tried to reason with her. “Kit, you’ve had a rough night, you’re not thinking clearly…”

“No! No, I’m thinking clearly for the first time in my whole life.” She interrupted.

“If you were thinking clearly, you would know that running away…”

“I’m not running away!” She finally stopped packing and turned to look at you, a somewhat crazed smile on her face. She grabbed your upper arms and pulled you in close, staring at you intently.

“I’m looking for something. It’s not here. It’s out there, somewhere, waiting for me. I have to find it.”

She squeezed your upper arms and let you go, returning to finish packing. You were stunned. Thoughts of what life in the castle would be like without her flooded your mind. You wanted to stop her. You wanted to talk her into staying. You wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, screaming that she was the most selfish person you’d ever met.

Instead, you stood frozen and helpless, watching the princess you grew to care for set to leave. A single tear rolled down your cheek as you managed to barely choke up a few words.

“I wish I’d had a chance to walk with you to parties.”

Kit froze, finally pausing her packing and glancing in your direction. “You mean the balls? Because they’re really not as great as you’d think…”

“I’d wear a dress, and walk in with you on my arm.” The tears started to pour down your face. You avoided eye contact, too ashamed to look at her.

Now Kit was really confused. “So… you want to dress up and go to a ball? Is that what this is about?”

“I don’t care about the stupid balls, Kit!” You exclaimed, now full on sobbing. “I don’t wanna go to a ball! I wanna keep cracking jokes with you in the corridors. I wanna keep stealing glances in the hallways. I wanna get you some pretty little thing and tell you how good it looks on you. I wanna watch you pick out your clothes in the morning and compliment your taste… and then make a snide remark about something. I don’t know what it’d be, but you’d smile and fire something back like you always do. I wanna do all these things with you. I can’t do that if you leave!”

You continued to sob, choking on your tears and struggling to breathe evenly. You felt pathetic, and part of you was ashamed to be confessing all of this to the princess. The other part, however, figured you’d already shared this much, you might as well share everything.

Kit stared at you, wide eyed and shocked. When she told you she was leaving, this was the last reaction she had expected. She took a step towards you. “Hey…”

“I’m in love with you, Kit!” You practically shouted over your shallow breaths. “I didn’t try to be but I am. I know I’m just a servant girl and I’m not a countess or a princess or…”

You were cut off by Kit grabbing your face and pulling you close until your foreheads touched. Your breath hitched and your heart beat faster, but otherwise the closeness seemed to calm you down. It was like the world had stopped, and everything disappeared. You and Kit may as well have been the only two people on earth.

“I don’t need you to get me pretty little things.” Kit started, your name ghosting over her lips. “You are my pretty little thing.”

Kit lifted your chin and crashed her lips against yours. Your body tensed as you were completely taken by surprise, but you soon wrapped your arms around her neck and sighed into the kiss. Her lips were soft, and tasted faintly of falernian wine.

She pulled back to allow you both to catch your breath. You gasped into each other's mouths, the bittersweet smiles you wore offsetting the tear stains that still sat on both of your cheeks.

“Kit, I…”

“Shh it’s ok, pretty girl.” She whispered as she ran her thumbs over your cheeks.

It was at this moment you realized that Kit was still in her ballgown. You knew she had a general distaste towards feminine clothing, instead leaning more towards a masculine look, but you thought it looked nice on her. The silky fabric felt nice against your skin, and you couldn’t help but notice how low her neckline dipped to expose a decent amount of her cleavage.

You pressed your lips to meet hers once again, subtly moaning upon impact. The two of you started inching towards her bed, almost subconsciously as neither of you could tell who started it. Kit bent to lay you down on her duvet and pulled away to meet your eyes.

“Is this ok?” She asked in a low voice.

You nodded, reaching around to pull at the strings on her back that were fastening her dress. She let you, staying perfectly still until you untied the last knot, and then helping you pull it down to a pool around her feet.

Your eyes traveled down Kit’s body, now covered by nothing but a corselette and short braies. She crawled onto the bed to hover over you again, her lips meeting yours once more. Her hands brushed over the side of your torso, before traveling up to lightly squeeze at your breast. You shivered, allowing a whimper to escape from your lips and dissolve into Kit’s mouth.

Kit pulled away from your kiss to latch onto your jaw and gently suck. You gasped, involuntarily bucking your hips against her, causing a smirk to appear on her face. She slowly began to pepper kisses down your neck, to your collarbone, until she reached the only bit of exposed flesh near your bosom that wasn’t covered by your dress. Her big blue eyes stared up at you as she rolled your flesh between her teeth and listened to your whimpers grow desperate by the second.

“Talk to me, honey.” She mumbled, slipping a hand underneath the skirt of your dress and resting it on your thigh. “Tell me what you want.”

“Kit…” you sighed, breathless. She didn’t budge, instead moving to soothe the mark she gave you with her tongue. You groaned, both out of pleasure and because you knew the other servants would almost undoubtedly notice the mark and give you quite the ribbing.

“Use your words, pretty girl.” God, it was like she knew just what to say to make your brain short circuit.

“T-touch me…” you managed to sputter out. “Kit… please.”

An accomplished grin spread across Kit’s features as she lifted the skirt of your dress until there was nothing to cover you but your pantyhose. You gulped, not used to being this exposed, especially in front of the Princess of Tir Asleen. Kit’s fingers wrapped around the band of your pantyhose, looking up at you for approval. You lifted your hips, and she slid them down your legs with ease, tossing them over her shoulder as soon as they reached past your feet.

Kit stared at your naked cunt, your arousal shimmering in the candlelight. She dragged two fingers through your folds before taking them both in her mouth, moaning at your taste. You had to bite your lip to keep from crying out her name, for fear of being heard by any passer-byers.

Upon first taste, Kit knew she needed more of you. She dove into you, encircling your clit with her tongue. There was nothing you could do to stop the primal groan from escaping the back of your throat, causing Kit to pull away and place a gentle hand over your mouth.

“Shh, pretty girl. Gotta be quiet, yeah?”

You gazed at the way your juices dripped down her chin. The sight was so erotic you barely even registered that she was talking to you, focusing solely on how your arousal glistened on her puffy pink lips.

She noticed the skirt of your dress was still bunched around your waist, and lifted up the hem until it was hovering above your lips.

“Open for me.”

You parted your lips, and Kit stuffed the bottom of your dress into your mouth, the linen cloth working to muffle your moans. She smiled at you, taking pleasure in seeing you gagged. “Such a good girl.”

Kit dove back in between your legs, swiping her tongue through your slit while gently holding your legs apart. Your head fell back on the bed while suffocated moans vibrated around the linen cloth. At this point she usually would’ve stopped to ask how you were feeling, but she took your pleasured whines as approval enough and kept going.

Your abdomen began to tighten, a sensation you were all-too-familiar with from a couple late-night solo dalliances. Your whines grew louder, more desperate as your jaw clenched harder on the linen fabric.

“Kith…” you groaned, trying to warn her through the cloth.

She nodded, keeping her head between your legs. “I know honey. Let go for me, yeah? You can do it.”

Her hot breath tickling your cunt while her tongue engulfed your clit only quickened the speed of your release. Your hips sputtered, chasing her greedy tongue and painting her features with your arousal. Kit could tell how close you were, and shot you a smug smile before gently squeezing your inner thighs, forcing your body into overdrive with a minimum amount of effort.

Your orgasm crashed over you like ocean waves on an island shore. The pleasure rippled through your body, forcing your knees to shake and your head to roll. You arched your back and rocked your pussy against Kit’s face, desperately trying to get as much out of your climax as possible.

Her voice echoed around the room and disappeared into the night air. “That’s it. Doing so good. So pretty like this. I knew you could do it. So good for me.”

After a moment or two, your hips slowed and your breathing evened as you came down from your high. A final moan ghosted your lips when Kit ceased her movements, lifting her head up to look at you with arousal still glazed across her mouth and chin. She licked her lips, making sure to get every drop, and helped you take your dress out of your mouth.

You laid on the bed, hair splayed across the duvet as you tried to catch your breath. Kit moved to sit next to you, smiling down at your collapsed state. “Feel better?”

“That was…” you sighed, at a complete loss for words.

You turned your head towards Kit, her lap sitting at your eye level. Even though you were still a little woozy, you could have sworn Kit’s braies had a small wet patch just between her thighs. Wanting to test the waters, you lifted your hand and grazed it over her thigh, watching her eyelids almost droop shut, and an involuntary sigh escape from her parted lips.

In the search for your own pleasure, you had almost forgotten about Kit’s.

A new wave of confidence washed over you, and you sat up to face your princess, a wicked idea popping into your head.

“Your highness… might thou please allow me to return the favor?”

Kit stared at you, confused by the unusual formality of your words until she noticed an amused glimmer flash across your eyes. Immediately understanding and falling in with the roleplay, she grabbed your jaw with one hand and pulled you close.

“Good little maids know how to serve their princess.”

A shiver managed to travel down your body before she kissed you once more, the faint taste of your juices still lingering on her lips. You pulled away and stood her up, untying her corselette and pulling down her braies, tossing them over your shoulder.

Kit was now standing in front of you, every inch of her completely exposed. The dim light from the candles danced across her bare skin as your eyes traveled down her body. You wrapped your arms around her neck and kissed her, trying to get as much of her up against you as possible.

You pushed her to sit on the edge of her bed, leaving frantic kisses down her body until you dropped to your knees in front of her. Her legs spread to give you access, and you wasted no time immersing your face to explore her already soaking wet folds. Kit wasn’t quite as vocal as you were, but her low curses and frantic grabs at your hair let you know you were doing a good job.

Kit’s feverish bucking soon picked up the pace, already so close from watching you get off at the hands of herself. You thought about stopping to tease her while she was in her desperate and needy state, but decided against it. Instead, you attached your lips to her swollen clit, flicking it with your tongue while your hand reached up to pinch one of her erect nipples.

A primal moan escaped from the back of Kit’s throat as her climax hit her all at once. She threw a hand over her mouth, muffled curses filling the bedroom while her hips bucked and sputtered helplessly against your face.

You looked up at her after her breathing evened and she settled down, your big doe eyes making an exaggerated expression of innocence. “Was that alright, your highness?”

Kit smirked, rolling her eyes at your insistence to continue the roleplay. “Yes, maid. Thank you for your service. If I need you again, I shall ring the bell.”

Practically snorting at Kit’s blatant sarcasm, you playfully smacked her leg, making her laugh. She fell back on the bed, motioning for you to lay your head on her chest before she wrapped her arm around you, fingers brushing through your disheveled hair.

A comfortable silence filled the bedroom, the only sounds heard were your hands on Kit’s chest and the faint brushing of her fingers through your hair. As wonderful as this night was, you couldn’t let go of the burning question that still lingered in the air.

“Kit?”

“Yes, pretty girl?”

Your heart melted at the nickname, making you dread the next question even more.

“Are you still going to leave?”

Kit sighed, and let go of you to stand up and get dressed. She stepped over her ballgown still lying in a heap and opted for some more traditional masculine attire. She refused to look at you, refused to answer your question.

“Kit?”

“I have to leave.” She answered bluntly.

You felt your heart sink to your feet, and tears well up in your eyes. You actually thought she’d change her mind, thought that you meant something to her. After everything that just happened, she’s still leaving?

“Oh…”

Kit paused, swallowing before her next words. “Of course, I’ll have to be armed…”

You nodded, still staring at your lap, only half listening and not understanding.

Kit stepped in front of you, and lifted your chin to meet her gaze. “I want you to come with me.”

You froze, breath hitching in surprise, and your eyes widened at the suddenly vulnerable princess in front of you. “W-what?”

“I want you to come with me.” Kit repeated. “There’s something out there for me, I can feel it, but I don’t wanna find it without you. Think about it. On the journey, I can hunt, and you can cook. When we get to wherever we’re going, I don’t have to be a princess anymore, and you don’t have to be a servant. We can just… be. I don’t know exactly where we’re going, but I know wherever we go, I want to have you on my arm.”

You stared up at her, your brain still processing her question. She smiled at you, slightly apprehensive for your answer, and held out her arm for effect.

“I’d be better armed, if you agreed to take it.”

[stoutguts]

ADHD/neurodivergent 🧼 (💀🧼 too bc why not/it's my comfort ship and I love them)

(chock full of my own personal HCs and ideas, also mental health stuff/issues/problems heyo)

I am most definitely all for autistic Ghost, but what about ADHD brain/neurodivergent Soap? I've seen few people talk about this or explore it so here we go.

Like, even though Johnny's generally laid back, he still tends to be very hyper or high-strung. Maybe even overwhelming for some people, and is easily excited almost like a puppy (golden retriever Soap my beloved), (Ghost thinking it's literally the cutest thing ever). Bro has either the attention span of a nat or is so hyper-focused on something he forgets to blink.

He has APD (auditory processing disorder),—and will ask you to repeat yourself 15+ times before he finally understands what your saying. This is incredibly frustrating for him, but like Price will lose his shit, because having to repeat himself is like one of his pet peeves lmao. Same thing, with Yuri.

Even Ghost and Gaz get fed up with him on occasion. Though Roach doesn’t give a fuck because they’re just as ADHD as him, and just loves to talk, plus their echolalia helps to sort things out lots of times. Gaz will give him the silent treatment and refuse to talk to him. Usually when Simon finally gets irritated with him it's lead to a fight. But it isn't long before Ghost feels bad and apologizes, and reassures him saying "I know you can't help it". Simon tries to work on learning to be more patient specifically for him. 💕

He does the same things that Simon does to stim, (though particularly pacing and bouncing his leg). But he also likes to chew on everything, whether it’s a pen/pencil, a cap off a water bottle or other plastic drink bottle—(This pisses off Simon in particular, and they’re always scolding him about how he’s gonna end up choking on it. Not to mention, he always leaves the nasty ass, spit-covered things around and forgets to throw them away after he’s done with one. Either leaving Ghost to pick up after him much to his disgust, or forcing Johnny to throw his own shit away, (as he should). If he gets ahold one of those spiky silicone balls from an arcade machine he likes to bite the nibs on it, etc. Simon has even bought him some chewlery because he orally stims so much, to which Soap uses all the time and was overjoyed when Ghost first got it for him. Though his chewlery needs to constantly be replaced because Johnny has unusually strong and sharp teeth. It’s not uncommon for him to completely destroy shit that he gets his paws on. Simon often comparing him to a dog or a teething puppy.

I am also totally for Johnny being just as mentally fucked as Ghost.

He’s the four b's, bisexual, bipolar, bilingual, and a bitch.

Like Simon, Johnny has generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), for similar or for maybe even the same reasons as Ghost. Not nearly to the same level of severity, but panic attacks and flashbacks do happen on occasion. As with certain things he's easily triggered.

He also struggles with bipolar disorder and/or severe manic depression. His bipolar tendencies making it incredibly difficult to maintain relationships in his youth, among many other things, (his past drug abuse/addiction only making him worse and more unstable). Though these days he’s medicated and for the most part stable, only sometimes going off his meds, (particularly when he relapses or is heavily triggered by something).

No therapist has ever been able to help Soap, though he does see a psychiatrist regularly.

Mostly for anti-psychotics and other prescription refills and the like, but can vent as much as he likes to them. Either that, or Simon doesn't mind lending an ear to listen when he needs it.

Similar to Ghost, Johnny can have very low self-esteem, but can also be of very high self-esteem, (it fluctuates due to his manic depression). And Simon is more than willing to give him reassurance and comfort, but equally doesn't mind knocking him off his high-horse, and/or, taking down his ego a few pegs if need be. (Which isn't so bad, as Johnny just so happens to have a degradation kink). >:3

Johnny is a highly reserved person, (though he’s able to put on a mask/a show for other people and strangers), and pretty stoic (all things considered), due to his traumatic upbringing. He has a very unhealthy habit of bottling up his emotions until he quite literally explodes, though he's trying to get better about that. But he can’t help but genuinely let his guard down, and has LEARNED to let his guard down around Ghost, the 1-4-1, and his sisters (the most important people in his life).

This tidbit has less to do with mental health and rather his personality but I still wanted to include it here so…

Soap is highly perceptive and emotionally intelligent. You can't hide anything from him as he can always tell when someone's lying to him, and he always knows when something's wrong. A true empath. He's also a very good liar himself because of this, but he uses this secret power responsibly, and would never lie to those closest to him and/or his loved ones.

All members of the 1-4-1 having highly specific phobias? Yes please.

As for Johnny…

He is deathly afraid of needles and hospitals (Trypanophobia and Nosocomephobia), because when he was growing up and as a young kid he was quite sickly, and often was in and out of the hospital. He's immunocomprised and gets sicks all the time, most of the time nowadays when he gets sick it's just a small cold, with the occasional illness that may put him out of commission for a bit—Simon always doting over him and making sure he’s okay when he even so much as senses he’s got a runny nose—Johnny finding it incredibly endearing, but when he was a child it was horrible. When he was hospitalized he'd suffer at the hands of doctors and nurses much too often, going through one too many traumatic experiences. Mostly, because of incompetence or just straight up apathy. Getting his IV done is the worst, because he's cursed with almost non-existent and small veins. Oh so jealous, of Ghost's huge and bulging veins. Someone will stick him upwards of 10 times or more, or until his arms are swollen, until they finally get it right usually. Not to mention, Johnny also has Hemophilia, and so he bleeds a lot which only makes it even more distressing. Soap specifically underwent medical and first-aid training, just so he could avoid going to medical himself as much as possible. His medical knowledge and training has happened to pay off lots of times in the field, for himself or for his teammates or squad’s sakes. Despite his aversion, he's not squeamish at all when it comes to mending his own wounds, or others weirdly enough. Even if he's severely injured he refuses to go to medical. Simon used to get really mad at him for this, because of not only his stubbornness, but seemingly his cockiness was what really pissed him off. And they know Johnny’s skills only go so far, and he's immunocomprised and a hemophiliac for crying out loud. Eventually Ghost confronted him about this, and after Soap explained everything it was a lot more understanding and sympathetic. Though it didn’t change the fact that it will borderline harass him if he’s seriously hurt and won’t go help himself, or just straight up force him to go to medical. Johnny always protests but ultimately he gives in, and Simon makes sure to give him emotional support and stay with him when he needs patched up.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, next post will be about my take on Ghost, his mental health, his autism, etc, probably!